For 10 years she was called Mommy
Mommy I want,
Mommy I need,
Mommy please help me see.
This world was so big but her light was my sun
I needed it to grow
She planted seeds in my heart hoping love is all I would ever know
For 10 years she was my gravity, my mommy don't go.
Mom take me here,
Mom I really don’t care,
Mom, I can see on my own.
I became too cool for her tight hugs but no matter how I shoved she wouldn’t let go.
Her mom died and it was the first time I saw her cry
Of course I didn’t understand because I still had my mom’s hand.
She had dimmed but I could still see
the bottles of wine on the nights she didn’t have her mom’s light
I called her Momster because I was told that’s what lives in the dark.
I tried to become her gravity; I tried to pull her back to me.
I brought flashlights and bibles waiting for her sunrise.
The ICU lights are the only thing glowing.
There’s dark charcoal pumping through her and I wonder if that’s the color of her soul.
Sparks are flying, burning out my only hope.
I’m told the medicine will fix her, but my sun still won’t shine.
My flashlight batteries are done and my Bible no longer has solutions.
Momster yells,
Momster has left me here alone.
December 31st and the sun sets refusing rise for a new year
All the light was drained out of her and replace with alcohol and pills
She left not realizing I still needed that light to grow.
She left my life in the dark saying
Mommy I want you,
Mommy I need you,
Mommy I can’t see why you had to go.
That's a tough, lonely spot to be in for so long and to then have such a sad and tragic outcome. I'm sorry. You write well. Both post show true feelings and emotions in an honest way. I'll make a deal with you. If you keep writing, I'll keep reading and commenting. You are not in this alone. I'm sure Hasty is with me too. I'm now waiting for the next post. The only thing keeping me from following is not being able to get a new password in G+. They really run you in Catch 22 circles if you forget it, and you can't open a new account if the email address is already attached to one.
ReplyDeleteDan
I agree, you write very well, straight from the heart and soul, thus touching others the same way. To grow up in the environment you penned, you are a survivor and a warrior. Never give up, never stop believing you can do anything you set your mind to, never let anyone tell you what you can't do, but what you can. I cannot assume to know how you feel, but I can offer you my prayers and positive thoughts&wishes for your future. Keep moving forward, let nothing stop you in your quest for success.
ReplyDeleteI read this poem on HastyWords. Dropping by to say it is well written.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristina
ReplyDeleteI popped in to see Sage Doyle - he clicks 'Like' occasionally on my blog - I found Hastywords had been round to see him so went over there - she had written a heart rending piece about mother and daughter relationships (Being male this is not something I ever expect to fully understand). Hasty mentioned you so I came round this way - and I found . . .
I'm getting old and crumbly now, so both my parents have passed on. I never thought of us as having a very close relationship. Naturally, I was very upset when my Mum died. But when my Dad died (a few years later) - I suddenly felt achingly alone. Is it that sort of thing?